moving from place to place to place has caught up with me tonight. i feel so disconnected from everyone tonight. in particular, disconnected from friends from singapore, some of whom i know are experiencing an immeasurable amount of pain. i know i don't have the right words to say, but i wish i could be there now to give you a hug, and just grieve with you. i'm sorry that i'm terrible at keeping in touch. that goes to everyone who has or still reads this blog. i'm sorry. most of the time, i'm just too preoccupied with my guilt to say hello when i see you online. i just remembered a girl i met during brownie camp in primary school, we just spent a weekend hanging out and taking care of this mentally disabled girl. jinny foo. twas just 3 days but i remember the fun we shared. just found her on fb this week, she remembers me and added me as her friend. i hope another 16 years don't pass by till i say hello to her again. time flies, doesn't it? i'd like to think friendships can be frozen in time. a two-hour conversation can last a year or at least a few months, and when we talk again, it's just like old times right? nothing's really changed. no, things change, people change, they grow and move and learn and grow some more. some die young and i never see them again on this side of eternity. some get married, some get divorced, some are happily single, some turn cynical. and then when we talk again, things are different, but on some level, we want to pretend that nothing's changed. i wish i could be there for all that. all those moments happening all over the world at the same time. to cheer you on at finish lines, to cherish your wedding memories with you, to celebrate a new job offer, to just walk in silence and enjoy each other's company, to explore parts of singapore i've never set foot in, to explore italy, uk, sweden, switzerland. i miss those times so much. so so much. i miss not having to catch up on the last 2 years that we haven't talked, and just being with one another. swimming, laughing, eating, watching. you're so far away and i'm here.

Ideas-a-tumbling-forth, things-a-happening

it's gonna happen. it's really gonna happen. james and i are really going to india together with EMI this summer. the more i think about it, the closer i come to squealing because i'm so thrilled.  suddenly, india seems so close again, the sights and scents, people and needs so stark and hard to ignore. this time, we will not only be working on an EMI project together, we will be travelling to visit Jordi Village again, the school that was mentioned a few entries below. suddenly, with our grad school applications complete, fundraising for the school in Jordi Village doesn't seem like such a crazy idea, as it did last October. i remember distinctively when i heard the Lord's call in my life to do this. i was at work, listening to another convicting sermon by francis chan. he taught from haggai 1(when was the last time i read haggai?)

This is what the LORD Almighty says: "These people say, 'The time has not yet come for the LORD's house to be built.' "  ³ Then the word of the LORD came through the prophet Haggai: ⁴ "Is it a time for you yourselves to be living in your paneled houses, while this house remains a ruin?"  ⁵ Now this is what the LORD Almighty says: "Give careful thought to your ways. ⁶ You have planted much, but have harvested little. You eat, but never have enough. You drink, but never have your fill. You put on clothes, but are not warm. You earn wages, only to put them in a purse with holes in it."  ⁷ This is what the LORD Almighty says: "Give careful thought to your ways. ⁸ Go up into the mountains and bring down timber and build the house, so that I may take pleasure in it and be honored," says the LORD. ⁹ "You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew away. Why?" declares the LORD Almighty. "Because of my house, which remains a ruin, while each of you is busy with his own house.

and i thought to myself. how many times have i shoved aside the idea of doing God's work, because of inconvenient timing? inadequate resources? 'gotta take care of myself first's? too many. it no longer was a matter of if or when i was gonna do it, it became a matter of how. and within the last week, 'hows' have been flowing from all directions. and it's all coming together in such a miraculously smooth way (so far) that i can't help but sit back and smile because i know who's the one behind it all.

so this is the vision. there is a school in a remote village in India that leaks whenever it rains. thus, 60 children who usually hike 2-3 miles to school everyday can't go to school when it rains. and it rains a lot over there. we happen to know lots of friends and family members who are as incredibly gifted in art, as they are passionate and creative. how do these two connect? a silent art auction, filled with donated art (photography, paintings, sculpture, jewellery, furniture etc) held to benefit the completion of this school. there could possibly be live music and ongoing workshops (think photography 101, how-to-cut-a-swan-out-of-a-carrot, oil painting 101) to encourage more lingering. this idea was made known to me two nights ago as i lay in bed trying to fall asleep. just the excitement over this actually becoming possible kept me up for another hour.

today, we walked around old town alexandria for 6 hours and visited 11 possible venues. we might actually have secured a location already! for free! again, i just have to . so i'm writing this all down now, so i don't forget. i don't forget why i am doing this in the first place. when logistics start to overwhelm us, we cannot forget the simplicity of this vision. when doubts befall us, we cannot forget the Lord's faithfulness.

if you're interested in contributing to the art auction in any way, please stay tuned as we figure out more details!